March 04, 2014
I have been at a standstill and do not know what to do. Nearly two years ago I moved across country to be back closer to my family in order to help my elderly parents. My intent was to alleviate some of the burden from my youngest sister who has been here the whole time while I moved all over the world during my 25 year marriage and for ten years after my divorce. Also to be available to my nephews who lost their mother to cancer 10 years ago and are at the age where they really miss her and it shows. But my youngest sister sees everything I do as "trying to get my nephews to like me better" (I have nothing to give them only love and attention) than her. And my every attempt to help ease the load on her by making some meals for my parents and taking care their yard, picking up their mail while they go on trips (I live ten miles from our parents she lives 22) small stuff that only costs me my time since again, I have nothing to give but time and love is seen as trying to "take over" - what I don't know. It has hurt me to the core that she would see me as competition; her words - "to come back and get to be favorite again" so I decided to stop rocking her boat and to just stay to myself. We stopped speaking for a few months due to this. Also anytime she and I speak no matter what we talk about I have found out she goes and repeats EVERYTHING we talk about to her husband and my parents and who knows who else. I used to feel that she was my only friend that I could speak with openly and honestly but when her husband used some of the things I spoke to her about in a conversation against me it hurt my heart and I shut down even further. I have never been one who has had friends only work acquaintances and I feel there is really no reason for me to be in this city. I have been trying to find a job in another city because the only reason I moved to this one in the first place was for family. The city is loaded with crime, I am of age where after my ex financially ruined me because of all the shenanigans he was up to while we were married with all the affairs he had one of which produced a child with a woman from another country (which is the one that made me finally say "enough is enough"), I cannot afford to keep working at the job I am on. I need to reestablish my savings although I doubt I will ever be able to retire. The cost of living is lower here but the pay is ridiculously low compared to other cities I have lived in. I was hospitalized with heart failure last year and that created unexpected bills that have put me over the edge financially despite making payment arrangements with all of the medical facilities. I finally got my credit reestablished after my ex charged tens of thousands of dollars in my name during the last five years we were married, all of which I was responsible for but I cannot afford to even purchase new shoes. I know that I am trying to lead God to where I want to go and probably have been for nearly a year and I know I need to wait until He tells me where to go but I don't know how to listen for His word or even when I am really hearing it. In the meantime I am miserable, sad and very discouraged about my situation. Please pray that I can find and give forgiveness to everyone including myself in this situation and that I can hear God speak to me about what I need to do and where I need to be. Thank you.
March 04, 2014
Thank you special people For all the prayers and to GOD be the glory and honour For HE answer prayers .My son got such a bad tooth ache last Night so i HAVE to cancel that meeting with him last nite please keep him in your prayers. Thank you once again
March 03, 2014
I want God to help me, and to HEAL me.. I am continually in sorrow like David in the Psalms. I want God to take my hurts if that is His will for me. I need for brighter days to come along. I need strength to get through the days, strength to persevere.. I need God. I need to know He will forgive my past, present and even future mistakes because I AM flesh, I am NOT God.. And therefore I do make mistakes. Prayers for deception and all manners of temptations to be far from me. Prayers for a real smile, safety, God's love to be upon me. Prayers for favor with people, a hope, a future. Prayers that I not just can, but that I WILL be free indeed!!!!!!!!!! Thank you.. He loves you.
March 03, 2014
Please pray for my children to finish this quarter strong. My son has a difficult history test tomorrow. Pray for God to give him recall and confidence.
March 03, 2014
My son has a speech meet this coming Friday. It is the first time he has ever made it to the district speech meet. His original speech is on stuttering and how it has affected his life. Please pray for him to do an excellent job, to gain confidence from the experience, to be honored for his bravery in getting up and talking about a very personal, difficult topic. Pray that he would find favor with the judges and that everyone in the room would be moved by what my son has to say. Pray that the Lord rewards his hard work and transparency. Pray that he is able to keep his speech smooth and that he doesn't get too nervous.