April 06, 2014
Please pray for me and my job situation. I changed jobs last year and I am struggling to keep my head above water. The demands are too enormous and I just don't fit their overall philosophy. I am looking for another position and may even make a career change. I have worked in my current line of work for over 20 years. Please pray that if it is God's will the proper door will be opened for me and that He will reveal to me my path. My desire is for me to be able to do more work for Him but my current job requires so much work that it is difficult. Thank you in advance for your prayers.
April 06, 2014
. I just ask that you pray as you read this that God could speak to you, its long and confusing and it makes no sense at all. My spouse Katie and I were married for 14 yrss. We have two kids that God blessed us with a boy and a girl. My wife was raised Catholic her dad and mom married from the convent. I was raised under the world wide church of God, then identified myself as Evangical. During out 14 yrs of marriage, I had issues with porn,(internet) and I was not the Godly husband I should have been. She was always tired, I got frustrated tried to add porn into our lives and that was a big lie. She left in 08 because she said she was done, she asked me to go to counseling, but I thought I could solve this on my own, as I look back I don't know why I didn't go to counseling. We went to counseling at Genesis in 08, but she didn't like it and I didn't push it. I felt really bad. She found another man, that made me so mad and then I went and dated other women. There was a point when she told me there was trust building yet she was telling me to go out with friends go have "fun". I told her about the other women a repeat of what happened in our 1st yr of marriage, where I felt attracted to another woman but not in love with her. This has been a mess, there is a wall between us from her. She doesn't want me to love her, doesn't want me to wear my wedding ring, says it hurts the kids, yet she is divorced in her heart, we are still married by the state of Washington even though we have not been together in 6yrs. She still wants me to come over for B-days, holidays, kids games, yet no marriage, we aren't even friends. I dread being around a stranger and she acts like this is ok. No one understands whats happening. For 6yrs its been nothing but silence from God, its like God doesn't care and wants this. I hate my wife I hate her and I feel ok with hating her. People say I shouldn't have all this bitterness, anger, well Im sorry, I don't have joy and happiness living like Im divorced but still married to her on paper. And Yes I have tried 3X to divorce her I gave her the papers to sign, she never turned them in nor gave papers back to me WHY? This is a woman who says she cant be in a physical relationship or trust me, yet she hasn't divorced me and wants divorce, tells people we are not together. And its no big deal to her, but it bothers me. I let go of her, by hating her not caring wether she lives or dies, I don't care what happens to her, there are plenty of other step moms who take over and she can have another man, its what most so-called Christians do now anyway. Divorce is the answer to solve problems, God is not saving troubled marriages including mine, he blesses people with other spouses, step parents, blended families, so divorce most be ok I hear other Christians tell me to divorce, let her go, do this do that, Im sick of other Christians who act like divorce is no big deal, and that God blessed them with someone else. Im tired. Im depressed. I have no hope left I don't care about her at all, im at peace with hating her, its better than continuing to love a obstinate wife who doesn't love me back. Im wasting my time. I need prayers I need Gods help Im sick of living this way, I don't know what to do, please Im asking for prayers, I acknowledge my sins I confess my failure at being the husband I should've been. Her and I strangers not even friends, our kids look at us and don't understand why we live like this, they have stopped praying for us not to divorce and get back together, I believe they've given up like me. They know that their mom and I don't talk unless forced to. I don't even know how to relate to her at all, she is dead to me and God thinks this is ok and bringing him glory??? Right, something is wrong, reading Gods word, helping poor people, church aint going to heal this, there needs to be intervention. I flushed my wedding ring down the toilet 6months ago, it will NEVER come back. I told her did it and she said that was stupid, but again nothing bothers her, God blesses her she can date other men which I know she is, she denies it but I know to well. I cant date, I cant event talk to another woman I have no interest plus I don't care, woman are problems with baggage, kids from other men, don't want it and don't care. I would tell any Christian man, don't do what I did wasting prayers on a obstinate wife who doesn't care and doesn't want to give you another chance, don't pray, just divorce don't fight for your marriage, that's all I got from other Christians. I know this is heavy but what I said is the truth, its hard to breathe, I hate her and I make no apologies say what you want, but I hate her wish I never married her and Im sure she feels the same, except tries to act like a family for the kids sake what a lie. I hate this situation, I have lived this for 6yrs with her and our kids. I begging for help, prayers
April 06, 2014
I would like to say thanks to everyone who prayed for me concerning my new job. I was chosen for the position. All left now is for my back ground check and physical. Should pass those with flying colors. Glory be to God and everyone that prayed for me. Will let everyone know the out gone of the last two steps for my new job. In Jesus Name Amen and Amen
April 06, 2014
dear lord, why do I get the feeling i'm being weeved into a spider web? I just have a feeling my "friends" are trying to contact me & wanting me back in. i also feel they've been praying for me, call me selfish, i don't need there prayers. they need to know it's 2 years to late for me come back. i just want to stay out & not get myself in this mess again. You know my story God. They kept me away for 2 years for something beyond my control & something i did not do & you know i have not done nothing to them. I want to stay out. I just ask you God to help me stay out & keep me safe, I don't want to get in trouble no more with the law. Thank you God for keeping me on the right path & the right road! AMEN! -jason
April 05, 2014
First, thank you all so much for praying for me and everyone else on this site. You all are major blessings in my life and everyone else on here. I pray that The Lord would help me find enough financial aid to attend the school where I have an opportunity of a lifetime to go to. Thank you all so much and God bless!