April 30, 2016
I have a rare "Adult On-set Involuntary Movement Disorder"; and it began back in 2006, "out of the blue". However, my doctors more or less concluded that it most likely came upon me due to rare side effects from the 3 different medications that I was prescribed to take by a former doctor (only former because I moved out of that area). Anyhow, 3 years ago, shortly before my dear Mom passed away; I sprained my right ankle badly. Well, several weeks later, during my Physical Therapy Evaluation, the poor Therapist could barely complete an examination on it; because my ankle was moving around so much. And, stress has been proven to cause involuntary movement disorders to become worse. :( Well, my doctors finally realized that they do not know how to help lessen the pain that comes with an "involuntary movement disorder". So, praise the Lord, I finally have been allowed to get an appointment with a Movement Disorders Specialty doctor ! However, that is still more than a month away. And, strangely enough, this ankle "spins" involuntarily; and this causes tendinitis, which is very painful. And, it is also a "chronic disorder"; meaning that it does not stop; nor am I able to stop these odd involuntary movements from occurring on my own. Surroundingthe ankle/foot with ice packs helps lessen the pain somewhat; but not enough . . . I would appreciatehaving some prayers . . . Thank you !
April 27, 2016
Lord, what I wouldn't give to go back in time and fight properly for my marriage. To respect and cherish the man that you put in my life as my husband. Knowing what I know now the many things that I would do differently and the doors that were opened would have been sealed. Lord the devil knocked on our door and we/I let him right in and allowed him to rot our union, our friendship,our bond, our family, even our relationship with you. Lord I am asking for a do-over. I am praying and pleading desperately for my marriage, my husband, my family. We cannot take back the lies, the damage, the words, action and inaction but we can take steps into the light. Lord, i am asking that you move our mountains. That you quiet the lions around my husband and help him to hear your voice again, help him to know and seek you out. Bind the unholy soul ties that he has too Claudia and seal that door to never be reopened. Bind the spirits of anger, divorce, adultery, frustration and addiction, replace them with forgiveness, humility, contrition, marital devotion, honesty and faith. Renew what has been damaged Lord and give us an opportunity to enjoy the life that we had hoped for many years ago when we were young, full of hope and had so much faith in one another. Shield us from the continued role this woman wants to play in our marriage, remove her and her ill intentions, plans and deceitful ways that he is blind to. Bless us with financial abundance so that we can make better living decisions and progress with in our lives and so that my husband is not enticed but her possibilities or suggestions. Lord we cannot do this with you and some divine intervention, we still deeply love one another, but Lord its not enough we need help and that help is you. I am asking for your promise to be held that what You have out together, let no man separate. Please move in this situation. Bless our children, help us to be better parents and better spouses for them. Lord I pray all of this in your holy name, may it be in according to your will. Amen
April 21, 2016
I am in need of strong prayers. Over the last couple of months my relationship with God has become closer, even in the face of devastating adversary. My spouse and I have been at great odds with each other but are reconciling I am in deep prayers for him and our union. Lord please heal the bonds that have been broken between us. Bind the relationship between him and that other woman. Seal the door between them. Spoil the plans that she has put in place for my husband. Shield him from the pitfalls that are before him, open his eyes Lord. Hedge him off Lord, encircle him with your love and guidance. Bind the spirit of adultery and divorce that has been plaguing my husband. Let your voice be louder than the lions around him. Renew and restore what has been damaged between us as we are rebuilding our union. Breathe life into us Lord, into our finances, our faith in you and in one another. Make ways for us Lord to continue our union. I ask that you move our mountains and cover us. In Jesus' Name I Pray. Amen
April 20, 2016
I'm laying here. I can't sleep. My life sucks so bad. This isn't where I wanted to be at 34. I must of done something pretty bad in a past life for mine to end up like this. The only joy I get is when I get to shop even if its penny items. I love my daughter but I'd love her better if I had a say so in having her. I sit here in the dark at think to myself why. Why me? What did I do to deserve this? I'm a good person. I don't break the law. I don't steal and do bad things. Why can't I catch a break? I'm so got sick of this life. Where is my break? Is this how life supposed to be? If so why would I want to live? I'm a firm believer in God and everything happens for a reason but this is too much. I'm sick of carrying around this burden. When do I get to live? I'm sick of hearing give time or its gonna be ok. Its been 14yrs ... Nothing is going to work out or be ok. I'm sick of scraping by month to month. I'm tired of being nice and optimistic. I want to live. But what I'm living is not a life. I'm tired so tired. What about me? Everything I do is always for someone else. Maybe its my kids or me helping someone. I didn't myself and get myself pregnant yet everyday I must face a life in this prison called home. I'm constantly screaming to get out but no one hears me. God I beg you please, please help me or bring me home. Im so tired of doing whats right and having to be the underdog. Im tired of noodles. I want eat regular food like everyone else. I want to be able to afford dental insurance. I want to take my kids places. I want a normal life. Im drowning inside myself and I dont know what to do. God help me.