August 31, 2014
I am a 17 yr old girl and I have struggled with overeating my entire life. I have always been heavy, and though I never let it show, it has always bothered me. When I was 13 I was a t summer camp and we were doing an activity that required running, I could hardly breathe. The girl next to me innocently said "You don't run much do you?" I was so offended and ashamed. I was 180lbs and 5'8" at the time. I then made the decision to lose weight. I began very healthily, watching portions and walking the dog 30mins a day, and was able to lose 10lbs(my goal was 20lbs). Then when I turned 15 my family found out my dad, who just had turned 50, had stage 2 pancreatic cancer. I remember feeling nothing. I have always loved my dad, he was great, but he struggled with his faith his whole life, and I never had a very close relationship with him. The next 6 months I started walking the dog more often in order to get away from the house, there was a lot of tension in the house. My mom is a nurse and disagreed with some of the treatments that were happening and my dad was in denial. He was also doing at home hospice and I didn't like being there. Anyway, I started to refocus on losing weight, mainly as a distraction, but also to be as healthy as possible with cancer now in my medical history. My dad was diagnosed in March 2013 and died on Oct. 21, 2013. It hurt, but I wasn't immobilized like in the movies, life went on and I felt so bad about that. I had lost another 10 lbs over the summer/fall and continued to try to lose weight, even though I had reached my goal. I felt better then ever physically, but I didn't look the way I wanted yet. In December(156lbs 5'9") I was diagnosed with Diabetes Insipidus. It's a chronic illness that has to do with the way your body holds onto fluid. Then I graduated high school a year early in late-March and we moved in mid-April. Stress started piling up and I started controlling the one thing I could, my weight. I lost a total of 58lbs and was down to 122lbs 5'9 3/4" at my lowest in June 2014, when my mom caught wind of what was happening. I saw a counselor for a while and started healthily gaining a little weight back, but then unhealthily. I started binge eating basically everyday in July and continue even now. I have gained a lot of weight back now, though I haven't been allowed to weight myself so I don't know how much. I feel so lost and hopeless, this entire thing has made me feel alone and numb to God's voice. I know all the answers and everything that you learn in church, and I know what I'm supposed to say, but I can't feel God anymore. I don't know how to reconnect and I don't know how to stop binge eating. I just don't even know if I care anymore. Please pray for my health, head, and heart. And most importantly that I could surrender myself fully back to God and regain the purpose and fulfillment in my life. Thank You.
August 25, 2014
I need God's help to change all aspects of my life. I worry about money all the time. I worry about my business having enough. I worry about my family having enough. I want my business to be successful. I want to move on in my life. I want to be the person, the wife, the mother God wants me to be. I have two part-time jobs to help but I feel spread so thin. God says if my faith were even as small as a mustard seed that it could be done. God says even the impossible is possible with Him. God please change my circumstances. I don't want to worry anymore. Change me. Change my business for the better. Pray that the Holy Spirit works in me to strengthen my faith so that I can be still and know that God is in control and, again as He promises, will make all things work together for my good. Amen
August 23, 2014
I applied for a new job where I work....a number of people applied to work in this new department. There are a few folks who sit near me and have been talking that they were called for an interview. So far I haven't heard a word. My boss encouraged me to apply because he believed I would be a good fit for one of the positions. Because I hear these other folks talking about being called for interviews and I haven't, my anxiety level has escalated and I am worried that I may not be called to interview I have a job either way. I am doing my best to remind myself that if I don't get one of these positions that God has something better planned for me. But you know that old devil he is doing a pretty good job at attacking me and telling me I won't even be considered. So I am asking for prayers for peace, patience and trust in the Lord that everything will be worked out for my good and not harm. Thank you.
August 19, 2014
I found the home that is the perfect home for me and my family to enjoy our life's in. I've have been thru some hard times in my life, but now things are getting better and I hope everything goes thru on this house, because it would really be ( the icing on the cake ) that I've been hoping for in my life. So me and my family could be happy at home everyday. Thank you all for your prayers and I wish all happiness.