August 31, 2014
I am a 17 yr old girl and I have struggled with overeating my entire life. I have always been heavy, and though I never let it show, it has always bothered me. When I was 13 I was a t summer camp and we were doing an activity that required running, I could hardly breathe. The girl next to me innocently said "You don't run much do you?" I was so offended and ashamed. I was 180lbs and 5'8" at the time. I then made the decision to lose weight. I began very healthily, watching portions and walking the dog 30mins a day, and was able to lose 10lbs(my goal was 20lbs). Then when I turned 15 my family found out my dad, who just had turned 50, had stage 2 pancreatic cancer. I remember feeling nothing. I have always loved my dad, he was great, but he struggled with his faith his whole life, and I never had a very close relationship with him. The next 6 months I started walking the dog more often in order to get away from the house, there was a lot of tension in the house. My mom is a nurse and disagreed with some of the treatments that were happening and my dad was in denial. He was also doing at home hospice and I didn't like being there. Anyway, I started to refocus on losing weight, mainly as a distraction, but also to be as healthy as possible with cancer now in my medical history. My dad was diagnosed in March 2013 and died on Oct. 21, 2013. It hurt, but I wasn't immobilized like in the movies, life went on and I felt so bad about that. I had lost another 10 lbs over the summer/fall and continued to try to lose weight, even though I had reached my goal. I felt better then ever physically, but I didn't look the way I wanted yet. In December(156lbs 5'9") I was diagnosed with Diabetes Insipidus. It's a chronic illness that has to do with the way your body holds onto fluid. Then I graduated high school a year early in late-March and we moved in mid-April. Stress started piling up and I started controlling the one thing I could, my weight. I lost a total of 58lbs and was down to 122lbs 5'9 3/4" at my lowest in June 2014, when my mom caught wind of what was happening. I saw a counselor for a while and started healthily gaining a little weight back, but then unhealthily. I started binge eating basically everyday in July and continue even now. I have gained a lot of weight back now, though I haven't been allowed to weight myself so I don't know how much. I feel so lost and hopeless, this entire thing has made me feel alone and numb to God's voice. I know all the answers and everything that you learn in church, and I know what I'm supposed to say, but I can't feel God anymore. I don't know how to reconnect and I don't know how to stop binge eating. I just don't even know if I care anymore. Please pray for my health, head, and heart. And most importantly that I could surrender myself fully back to God and regain the purpose and fulfillment in my life. Thank You.
August 26, 2014
we are down to our last 100 bucks i9n bank, We were expecting some money from our neighbors,whose dog killed our dog earlier this month. THEY wrote up a contract,agreeing to pay us compensation,in leiu of us literally suing them, .wE ARENT LIKE THAT. But they have been avoiding us BIGTime! But were hoping for a small payment yesterday,which they promised us. Nothing----SANd still nothing from Soc,Sec. and im down to just 2 private jobs a week, from 4., still trying to keep positive-----
August 22, 2014
I have a really good chance to fly out to another state to get education (valuable education for work.)My boss said that she is sure that I will be able to go, but She also wished she didnt say anything because, nothing is promised at times. Please pray that things will go in GODS will and I will be able to be pleased to learn more to share with others! :D