July 31, 2014
Honestly, your prayers [and God] are the only things that are holding me together right now. I've posted a few times, but I ask for your continued prayer today throughout this weekend especially. My ex and his mom have had a rough relationship and don't get along well. (And this weekend everyone will be in the same city for a family event. Yet, I don't even know if people will attend or even see each other.) Please pray they allow Jesus into their [hardened] hearts, open their hearts to each other, find love and forgiveness. It breaks my heart and I'd love to somehow fix all of this, yet I can't. I'm in counseling and trying to get help with this situation, as I'm so sad. (I hate being a 'needy' person -- not usually who I am. However, I NEED your prayers for my strength and for this situation.) I want my children to know their grandma and that side of the family. I want everyone to get along once again. Your prayers are holding me together. Thank you so much, friends.
July 24, 2014
I posted many times over the past months for deliverance from homosexuality and for my return to the Lord Jesus Christ (He had delivered me before but I turned away from Him in pride). I believe that the LORD has anwsered that prayer because I'm back to church (which I had stop going), I am able to read the Bible again (when I wasn't really able to before), praying kindof like I used to (which I didand witnessing to people like I did before I backslid. The urge/desire/bondage of homosexuality is gone. The reason why I am posting this prayer request is that I don't want to be decieved by my feelings or by the fact things that I am doing. I know I have to be careful with my feelings and trust in the LORD solely. The things is I just don't feel exactly the same way as I did before i backslid, but I dont feel the way I did when I was full blown backslidden. It's like the prodigal when he left the pig pen and was on his was tpo the fathers house: I know that I am no longer in the pig pen nor do I have a desire to return to it (the enemy has tried to lure me back in), but am I in the Father's house? or am I still walking to the Father's house? I know that God is not the author of confusion and tells things like it is. I know the enemy will always try to cause doubt and try to get us to question God's Word. I know that the heart is wicked and I cant go by my feelings If you would pray that the LORD would remove any confusion, doubt's unbelief from me and confirmation that I am no longer backslidden and wisdom regarding this I would appreciate it. Thanks and God bless you