March 09, 2014
Please pray that I can leave my husband at the cross so The Lord can heal his heart
March 08, 2014
I'd just like to say how thankful I am for the many blessings that I've been given. God really is good! Despite my at times difficult circumstances God has never forsaken me. I am so incredibly thankful. I humbly ask for His favor over my current circumstances. Thank you Jesus that we can even come before God with our requests.
March 06, 2014
Please pray for me that I will find my way through the grief that seems to be swallowing me whole and consuming my life. We found my mom dead in her house this past Thanksgiving when we went to pick her up for the family get dinner. Every since then, I feel like I am sprialing out of control with my emotions. As I have been going through her things, I have come to realize she knew she was very sick and didn't share with us so we could help her. It was like she had just given up and didn't want to fight anymore. She didn't take care of herself no matter how much I begged her. I talked to her every day pretty much sometimes three of four times a day. The Tuesday before she died, I was sick with strep throat and I called to talk to her that night about 7. I did try calling her Wednesday but she didn't answer. I just thought she was probably sleeping most of the day getting ready for Thanksgiving day and I felt so bad that i just went to sleep early Wednesday night instead of being persistent to get her on the phone. When we found her Thursday morning (Thanksgiving Day) she was already dead. I may have been the last one to talk to her that Tuesday night. The guilt, grief, sadness that I feel that she not only died alone but that I didn't find her earlier is more than I can take at times. My heart is so broken, my soul feels shattered. I have the worst nightmares about her in this house as she was the last time I saw her. I have prayed so much but I cannot seem to come to terms with her death or find any type of peace to move forward. It has been over three months now and the emotions and pain are just as raw as they were that day at times. I pray that God will turn my nightmare into dreams and just let me feel peace. How could she keep her health issues from me when I asked her ALL THE TIME? Why didn't she tell me! I should have done more, I should have been a better daughter and been more proactive with her health and more persistent that she take better care of herself. She had chronic COPD and Diabetes. I am so angry! Please pray that God will help me through this. I cannot do this alone. There are days when I don't even get out of bed. I am the executor of her estate and I am also planning my daugther's wedding for 9/20. This is going to be a very busy year. Dealing with my loss and her estate is the hardest thing I have ever had to do but planning my wedding should be one of the happiest times of my life. How can I do both of these things well when I want to crawl in a corner somewhere and just stay there in the dark...alone. I work full time at my job. have a family. constantly working at my moms to get ready for the estate sale and to get the house on the market. planning my daughters wedding. If I am working on the house, I feel guilty I am not wedding planning. If I am wedding planning. I feel guilty that I am not working on the house. God help me! Thank you for your prayers! :(
March 05, 2014
Wanted to give you an update. I continue to ask for your prayers I thank you. Im struggling inside my heart. I hate my wife, or X. I actually don't care if she dies, I have lost the love for her I had, thanks to her. Im at peace, joyfull, because now I hate her, I don't have any love for her I give up loving her, and I don't care what happens to her. I know it sound weird, but when I tried to love her according to EPH 5;28-32, I had no peace, joy,. Now that I hate her, dislike her Im at peace inside, I don't feel anything but anger, but its hate. She got what she wanted, a destroyed marriage that God himself cannot restore, especially when two spouses don't have anything left. Theres no hope for us and the kids. We have been living apart not together for 6yrs, married by paper only but living like were divorced BY HER CHOICE. This Isnt honoring GOD nor examples for others. Guess Divorce without consequences is what other christians do now Im starting to believe that most marriages need to divorce, God really doesnt save marriages anymore divorces are so much better...sorry,this is all I see from fellow christians.
March 05, 2014
Lord I give you my marriage please restore was has been lost heal the wounds