UPDATE - Faith and Hope running on empty :'(
Thank you for the prayers that have been sent my way. I know that God has heard your prayers and is working on something - I am still not sure what or how but I know things are unraveling. Last night my husband and I spoke for about 3 hours about our relationship like we have never spoken before. For the first time I told him that I had began my journey on a one on one realtionship with Jesus, I told him how because of God my heart has softened, I have slowly began to realize my faults and how to ask for forgiveness and how to make things right. I told him how much our relationship can change if we BOTH put God first in our marriage and in our life. He told me that he was very happy for me that I had chosen to walk with God but that he thinks that God has different plans for us - that everything happens for a reason and that the more he thinks about it the more he realizes that we are two very different people and that we just simply can't get a long and that we have nothing in common anymore. I pleaded for us to try to make it work one more time but this time with God in the center of it all. He insisted that he didn't want to anymore that he didnt believe in marriage and that he just thought we would all be happier apart without all the fighting - that he was tired and that he has just given up on me and our relationship. I feel like we just went in circles me saying yes we can do it - my husband saying no its not possible. I felt drained this morning, even more empty and hopeless than I did when I posted the first prayer request 2 days ago. We began talking around 11pm - and finally went to bed at around 2am. When I woke up this morning I checked my e-mail like I usually do and had a notification that someone had prayed for him at around 1am this morning when we were in the middle of our conversation! I put my husbands name on the ksbj salvation wall on 6/11/12 and out of all the names on that wall (14,043 to be exact) someone clicked on his name and prayed for him to be saved, to accept Jesus as his savior at the exact same time that I was proclaiming my faith to him around 1am! I would like to take this as a sign from God that everything is going to be ok! Although my husband is still set on the fact that we cant make this work and that our marriage has no hope I still have some left. Please I ask for continued prayers for my marriage and my family. I know that God does not want us to divorce and break our family apart - we still both love eachother but we have hurt eachother during the past 8 years and the wounds just seem to not be able to heal. Please continue to pray for my husband that he turns his life to the Lord and that he will be guided to change his heart - I can't change his heart or heal his wounds but I know that God can and I know that because he has done it for me, he has slowly transformed my heart, my actions and my decisions he can do it for him too. Prayer does work and I continue to ask for your prayers for this broken marriage to be restored in the name of Jesus! God please give my husband the faith and hope that you continuously give me - give him the patience and love to try to make our relationship work. Soften his heart, let him know that you are there and that he can do all things through your strength - he doesnt have to do it all alone you will be right there every step of the way. Please God I pray that he surrenders and lets you take control of his life that he no longer fights and that he surrenders to you and your love. Guide him to the light and to your Glory. Fill every inch of his body, mind and soul with Hope and Faith that our marriage will work if he lets you in to his heart. In Jesus name I pray Amen.