I need deliverance from selfishness, and from negativity
Dear Lord Jesus, You Know Just How Selfish i am. See, I also need to pray for the family that I caused so much pain to; when I decided to terminate our baby's life. If they had been wiling to accept You, and to show me that they would love our baby, I would not have destroyed our baby's life. I saw how they family was, and they treated each other the same way my family treated each other; only they were much more controlling. I wanted to Worship You with my whole heart, not because I was forced to, but out of sincerity. My family did not believe in allowing their children to have their own will. I rebelled and kept getting worse, until I was almost 40. I hated murdering the children's lives that I murdered through abortion. I knew that my parents were not going to accept my baby, and if these people were actually evil people, it would have caused more problems within our family's lives. All I did was make bad decisions, and think with evil and negative thoughts against people because that is what I was picking up from the people who were around me during that point in my life. I would have made different decisions, if I thought that people cared enough to listen and understand. However, people saw my self-destructive patterns; therefore, they were able to make their judgments the way that they saw fit. I thought, said, and did extremely evil things against You, others, and myself as well. I did not mean to act selfishly, and hatefully towards everyone; however, I did. I didn't mean to though. I pray that You Will Undo the damage that I have caused to the people that I have deeply harmed. I pray that You Will Protect them all, and that You Will Destroy the evil curses that I may have planted; or that may have been planted due to my deep ignorance, and deep selfishness. I am afraid for everyone's safety; including my enemies, too. I am afraid for my enemies, Dear Lord Jesus because there is a great possibility that when anyone tries to harm another person, then it may backfire and doubly or do more damage to the people who are intending to carry through their wicked deeds; especially, when You Get Involved, which just causes more vengeful feelings towards the situation, instead of alleviating those feelings. Every one makes horrible decisions sometimes, or extremely bad ones that they later regret, unless they are extremely careful to follow Your Instructions. I am begging You to Protect my friend, and his family; I am also begging You to Guide the family that has bound me to the oath that I broke, due to an impersonal message. I am very afraid, and I am very sorry that I murdered my children's lives. I really wish that things had been different. I am sorry. Murder is selfishness, I am in great need of Your Forgiveness, and Your Protection in all of my friends lives who are at risk for having evil plans devised against them, and for those who devise them that could suffer the consequences of their actions, should something occur due To Your Hand Being There. I am just afraid. I need Your Help, so that You Will Lay my fears to rest, and Please Help me to know that You Know How To Handle This Situation, and Help everyone involved so that no-one gets into harms way due to my evilness. In Your Precious Name, Dear Lord Jesus, I pray. Amen.